


Criminal

by Vizkopa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:18:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vizkopa/pseuds/Vizkopa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>What was wrong with you? He was just a lowly thug, a criminal. And yet you were ready to throw away everything you had just for him.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My interpretation of Levi's past (before A Choice With No Regrets was released). This is an old work I'm uploading for the sake of record-keeping so please forgive the crappiness :P

The tavern was unusually crowded that night. Never had you seen so many soldiers in one place, fifty uniforms all emblazoned with the blue and white Wings of Freedom. They belonged to the Survey Corps, and had returned once again from another (presumably) failed expedition. They had suffered heavy losses as usual, and many were here to forget the trials they had been through. Some, however, were bolder, openly celebrating their success of returning in one piece. One such soldier was drunkenly boasting his skills, claiming he had killed fifty Titans unassisted.

“ _Tch_ , yeah right,” you said under your breath, rolling your eyes at the soldier. You turned away, back to your drink and the bartender, who was watching you curiously, polishing a glass with his apron.

He glanced at the soldier, who was now in the process of acting out one of his amazing kills. “Ah, we’re so lucky to have such brave young men like him protecting us from those nasty Titans,” he said sarcastically.

You giggled, and his face broke out into a soft smile.

“Another drink, [Name]? On the house.”

“No thanks, Felix,” you replied. “I think I’ll leave soon. It’s much too noisy in here for my liking.”

As you lifted what remained of your drink to your lips, you felt eyes on you, boring into the back of your head. Placing the drink back on the counter, you swiveled on the bar stool, searching the tavern with your [e/c] eyes. They met gazes of green and blue and red-rimmed and swollen, but none retained the contact for more than a few moments. You still felt as though you were being watched, however, so you kept scanning the crowd. Your eyes fell on a figure hunched in the far corner where the flickering firelight could not penetrate.

He was lazing in his seat, leather-shod feet propped on the table before him and a half full bottle of whiskey dangled from his right hand. His face was mostly in shadow, hidden by drapes of ebony hair, but you could feel his unwavering gaze.

You felt a shudder creep through you and a flush begin to spread across your cheeks. Embarrassed, you turned back to your drink.

“On second thought, Felix, I will take that drink.”

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat as Felix poured you another glass of wine. Risking another glance at the corner, you noted the man no longer appeared to be watching you, but rather was following the movements of the drunken soldier from before as he made his way staggering to the bar.

As he approached, he noticed you, and began to make a beeline (or as much of one as he could in his state) to the stool beside you. 

“Well, hello,” he said, his eyes skating up and down your body and licking his lips. You made a disgusted sound deep in your throat and ignored him, sipping at your wine.

“Aw, don’t be like that,” he said, attempting to shift closer to you. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, smell the stench of the cheap beer he had been drinking. He moved to place his hand over yours, but you moved it out from under his, causing him to knock your drink all over the front of your clothes.

You cried out at the shock of the cold wine against your skin and in anger at the soldier beside you.

“Well, shit,” he said, chuckling. “Looks like you ruined your clothes. Maybe you should just take-“

You were in the process of curling your right hand into a fist with which to punch the stupid grin off the soldier's face when he suddenly stopped dead. You looked up to find a gun pointed at the soldier’s head, pressing against the soft flesh of his temple. He dared not make a move. The bar had gone completely silent.

“Apologise to the lady,” said a low voice. It was the man from the corner, his hand gripping the pistol. He was shorter that he had seemed, yet somehow he exuded a power, one that left your body shivering and your mouth dry. His black bangs fell over grey-blue eyes, shrewd and cold, and his mouth was a hard line against his pale skin.

“I-I meant no disrespect,” stuttered the soldier, sweat beading on his ruddy face.  
The man pressed the gun more firmly against the soldier’s temple, causing him to whimper.

“I said, apologise,” repeated the man, his voice laced with venom.

The soldier swallowed and glanced at you before casting his eyes to the ground. “Sorry,” he muttered. Only after you had nodded your acceptance did the gun release its pressure. The soldier visibly relaxed, but sweat still beaded his brow.

“Better,” said the man. “Do you know who I am?”

The soldier shook his head. He gulped as the gun moved to the hollow of his throat and the man stepped in front of him so that he could look upon his face.

“Then remember my face, because the next time you see it will be your last,” the man growled. “Now get out.”

He released the gun, and the soldier scurried backwards, cursing as he exited the bar. The man slipped his gun back into his coat, which was lazily draped across his broad shoulders.

“ _Tch_ , scum,” he said and, ignoring you, made his way back to his place in the corner.

Stunned, you looked after him. You blinked, seeming to come back to yourself, and called after him. “I could have handled him myself.”

The man stopped and glanced at you over his shoulder. “Well, next time I’ll let you do the threatening,” he said and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’ll see you around, Felix,” you said as you snatched up your coat. He nodded, still speechless after the confrontation he had just witnessed.

The tavern was quieter now. No one dared speak louder than a whisper, and you could feel the Survey Corps soldiers shooting glances at you as you stormed out of the bar, the gaze of the man in the corner following you all the way to the door. You flushed deeply, and cursed yourself for doing so. Since when did you let yourself become affected by the gazes of creeps you didn't even know? 

The man frightened you. Not many people kept guns anymore, mostly due to their rarity. Most firearms had been seized by the military long ago. Not that guns were any use against Titans. But it wasn't the gun in particular that frightened you, it was the way he held it – confidently, menacingly. You would have said he was probably overcompensating for something, but somehow you couldn't believe that. The way he commanded respect made you shudder. And yet there was something about him… Beneath his cold demeanor he could not be completely unfeeling. He had intervened when you were in an uncomfortable situation. Not many men would have done that.

Your blush crept higher, cheeks flaming as you stepped into the cold night air. It felt glorious, and you closed your eyes, letting the breeze whip through your [h/c] hair. You felt better, back in control. You headed for home along the dark and empty streets.

It seemed quieter than usual. How late was it? _Surely no later than midnight_ , you thought. And yet the streets should have been crawling with drunkards, pissing themselves as they stumbled to their beds, whether that be a nice soft mattress, or a dirty gutter somewhere. You looked up, searching for the moon and some indication as to how late it was, but the sky was clouded and thick with the smoke from thousands of burning hearths.

You shrugged and pulled your coat tightly around yourself, beginning the trek home. As you turned down a side street, you felt eyes watching you from the darkness. You walked faster. You felt a hand catch at your jacket. Damn, not fast enough. Whirling around, you came face to face with the soldier from the bar.

“Where you going, pretty lady?” he said, keeping a tight hold on your jacket. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation earlier.”

“The conversation was over the second you opened your mouth,” you spat back, struggling to free yourself. The soldier only tightened his grip.

He shook his head and clicked his tongue. “Don’t be like that,” he said, pushing you up against a building and leaning in close. His breath was hot and damp. You gagged as his mouth drew close to yours. He pulled back slightly. “You’re no fun,” he pouted, looking remarkably like a child with his reddened cheeks.

“Need some help?” said a voice. The soldier froze and you stared over his shoulder to the end of the street. It was the man from the tavern.

You narrowed your eyes, bringing your knee upward with force, right into the soldier’s crotch. He dropped to his knees, tears in his eyes. You brought a fist back and connected it with the side of his face, sending him sprawling. He was out cold.

“Told you I could handle it,” you said.


	3. Chapter 3

He stared at you, astonished and, you noted from the slight curve of his mouth, rather amused.

“Oh, I _like_ you,” he growled and strolled forward, black coat billowing in the crisp breeze.

You stepped over the unconscious soldier at your feet. He was snoring lightly, his mouth hanging open.

“Ugh,” you exclaimed, careful to step on his fingers.

The man from the tavern reached you and knelt to examine the soldier. His mouth quirked at the corner.

“You really got him good,” he said, impressed.

“I did say I could handle it, didn't I?” you snapped.

“Evidently.” He stood up, placing his hands in his pockets. He nudged the soldier with one heavy black boot. “Piece of shit.”

You both stood silent for a moment, watching each other warily.

“Thanks for helping back there,” you said begrudgingly, casting your eyes down. “Even though I didn't need it. I’m [Name].”

“Levi.”

Your eyes widened. You had heard that name before, as a whisper on frightened lips. _It can’t be_ , you thought. _The Levi?_

“Are you afraid?” Levi asked, a smirk forming on his face.

You thought for a moment. This man was dangerous and highly wanted. And yet… You shook your head. He had helped you earlier, surely that meant he wasn't all bad? Unless he wanted something from you. You became suddenly aware of the fact that you were completely alone with this man on a deserted street. The road seemed to stretch on forever in both directions. You didn't know what to do. Should you run? Cry for help?

Levi was watching you curiously, as if he could hear the thoughts running through your head. He turned at the sudden sound of footsteps and rowdy voices. 

Three soldiers, stumbling and laughing loudly, were making their way home from the tavern. They stopped dead when they saw you and Levi with the soldier collapsed at your feet. The stood, open mouthed, and you and Levi stared back. Then one of them started forward, his face distorted with rage. The other two followed suit, one of them pulling a knife from his belt.

“You just attract trouble, don’t you?” he said to you, incredulous, before strolling forward to meet them.

“Wait!” you cried. Was he about to face three men by himself? And not just any men, these were _trained soldiers_.

He paused to look at you and rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth curling, and proceeded to take out one of the men with one swift kick to head.

There was a crunch and a spray of blood as Levi’s boot connected with the man’s jaw. Teeth clattered onto the pavement. They bounced, once, twice, and settled at your feet. You stared at them, and then back at Levi. _Holy shit_.

Seeing his fallen comrade, the soldier with the knife lunged forward, an angry cry on his lips. Levi simply grabbed his wrist and twisted, sending the knife clattering to the ground. He punched the soldier in the face and he jerked back, blood pouring from his broken nose.

The third soldier stopped his advance, looking around at his two fallen comrades and then back at Levi, his eyes wide with fear. He gestured to his friends and they snatched up the soldier you had knocked out and stumbled away together into the night, nursing their injuries.

Levi watched them go. “ _Tch_.”

You stared at him, suddenly very afraid and, though you would never admit it, aroused.

“How did you…?” you trailed off, unable to speak.

Levi simply smirked. It soon disappeared, however, as the sound of two sets of footsteps, perfectly in sync, floated from around the corner.

“Pigs,” he growled. “They must have heard…” 

And before you could react, he had locked his lips with yours.

You struggled against him at first, your hands pushing on his chest, but he had gripped you you firmly by the hips and pushed you up against the cool brick wall. You stopped fighting, playing along, and melted into him. You could feel him smirking against your lips as he felt you respond in kind.

The soldiers chuckled at the sight before them, and continued on. Only when they had passed out of earshot did Levi release you.

He laughed at the stunned look on your face. "Well, I certainly wasn't expecting you to _enjoy_ that."

You blushed and tried to protest, but he just laughed. It was a harsh sound, but sent your stomach fluttering all the same.

"Thanks," he said, giving you a quick peck on the lips, and then he was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

You stood for a moment, stunned, your cheeks flaming. _What just happened?_ You realised your mouth was hanging open slightly and snapped it shut. You could still feel the lingering pressure of Levi’s lips upon yours, and you touched them with your fingers, blush deepening. Then you noticed the loose teeth scattered on the pavement, the blood already dry and flaking. 

You snapped out of your trance. No. It was a bad idea to get involved with someone like him. He was a criminal and a wanted man. Besides, you belonged to someone else. Someone who was meant to be home from a mission that night and you had completely forgotten. _Uh oh._

You suddenly realised it was late. _Very_ late. “Shit,” you groaned as you gathered your thoughts and started out for home along the cold and empty streets. You hoped to God that when you arrived home he was asleep. You didn't think you could face him in your current state. But he was stubborn, and you just knew he would be waiting up for you.

You reached your house, but didn't enter. No lights were on, but you knew that did not mean he wasn't waiting for you, a scowl on his face for keeping him up. You knew there would be a fight, there usually was. At least the make-up sex would be _amazing._

You steeled yourself and unlocked the door, letting it swing inward. You stepped inside, and closed and locked it quickly behind you. It was dark inside, but you could see the outline of a figure seated at the dining table in the small kitchen.

“Welcome home,” said a familiar voice.

You gasped. “ _Levi?!_ What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well I was going to rob you, but you appear to have nothing of value. So I thought I’d steal a kiss instead.”

Levi stood and strode over to you. “Miss me?” he growled as he pushed you against the wall and attacked your mouth with his own. You struggled against him, pushing on his chest, his hard muscles flexing beneath your fingers as he pushed his body against yours. Realising you weren't responding, he pulled back.

“What’s wrong?” he smirked. “Forgotten me already? I really thought I’d made a lasting impression.” 

“Levi,” you said sternly, lowering your voice. “Did you _follow me home?_ Did you _break into my house?!_ ”

“Something like that,” he replied. He leaned in again but you stopped him with a hand over his mouth.

“No, you don’t understand. You can’t be here. My-“

“[Name]?” said a low voice, husky from sleep. “You’re home late. I tried waiting up for you but-“

The man stopped dead, eyes focusing on the two figures in the gloom.

“What the-?” he said, suddenly angry. He lunged forward pulling Levi from you and hurling him to the floor. “ _What are you doing in my house?_ ”

Levi looked up at the man towering about him and wiped the blood from his mouth.

“Well,” he said. “This is unexpected.”

“Levi,” you said coolly. “I’d like you to meet Commander Erwin Smith of the Survey Corps, my fiancé.”


	5. Chapter 5

Erwin walked over to you, his eyes never leaving Levi, and put one strong arm around you, drawing you close.

“Are you okay?” he asked, finally taking his eyes of the man on the floor. He examined your face, cupping your chin in his fingers and tilting it towards his.

You nodded. “I’m fine.”

There was a scuffling sound and an angry “tch”, and Levi was gone, vaulting out of the living room window through which he must have entered. Erwin growled and started after him but you gripped his hand, pulling him back into an embrace.

“Let him go,” you said.

“So he can assault you again?”

You didn't know what to say.

“You called him Levi, didn't you? You must know who he is?”

“Of course I know,” you snapped. “I am fully aware that he’s dangerous. But I can take care of myself.”

“And yet you didn't. Why didn't you fight back, [Name]? What if I hadn't been here?”

Then I would have handled it,” you said angrily, pulling away from him. “He helped me tonight, you know. I’m in his debt.”

Erwin shook his head, exasperated. “You’re in debt to a _criminal?_ I knew letting you go out alone was a bad idea.”

“I can handle myself!” you shouted, breathing heavily.

“You keep saying that.”

You glared at Erwin angrily. You loved that man, but by the Gods…

“Whatever. It’s late. I’m going to take a shower,” you said brushing past him and leaving him to fume in silence.

You closed the bathroom door behind you and leaned up against it, closing your eyes. What a night. You felt exhausted, dirty and the hand you had used to punch that soldier was throbbing dully. You sighed and turned on the water, testing the temperature with your fingers. When it was as hot as you could bear it, you undressed and stepped under the steady stream. It felt glorious.

There was a knock on the door and Erwin’s voice rang out. “May I come in?” he asked.

You grunted an affirmative.

You heard him enter and undress quickly, and then he stepped in behind you, sliding his arms around your waist and drawing you to his muscular chest.

“I’m sorry,” he said bluntly. “I was worried.”

You sighed and relaxed into him. “I’m sorry too. I should have been more careful.”

You turned in his arms and kissed him deeply. He gripped your wet hair and tilted your head back, trailing kisses along your jawline and down your neck to your collarbone, where he stopped to nibble softly at your flushed skin. You gasped and arced against him, causing him to shudder. You could feel his desire pressing against your thigh insistently. He growled an “I love you” into your neck and reached past you to turn off the water. 

Without warning he lifted you into his arms and out of the shower, grabbing a towel as he passed which he used to dry your dripping hair. By the time he reached the bedroom with you in his arms, both of you were dry, and he laid you down on the bed, lowering himself onto you.

You opened yourself to him and he thrust into, causing you to gasp. He began a merciless pace, fueled by desire and longing, his hard muscles rippling beneath your exploring fingers. You could feel a flush creep into your face as he pushed you closer and closer, a soft moan escaping your lips. He groaned and let go when you did, the both of you collapsing into a tangled heap of limbs.

He rolled off of you, cradling you in his arms and fell asleep almost instantly. You tried to follow suit, but sleep would not come easily, for in your mind were cold eyes of blue-grey and the insistent press of warm lips upon yours.


	6. Chapter 6

You awoke to soft kisses, trailing up and down your arm. You swatted him away in annoyance, but that only made him more insistent. You laughed as he flipped you over and kissed you full on the mouth.

“Morning,” you yawned.

“Good morning,” he smiled.

He gave you one final peck on the lips before swinging his legs out of bed and rummaging for his uniform. You settled down beneath the covers, watching him with half lidded eyes. The morning sun caught his refined figure, tall and muscled, in all its naked glory, his blonde hair tousled from sleep. Thin lines of bruises circled his legs and waist, the impact of using 3D maneuver gear almost every day.

He saw you watching and threw his shirt over your eyes, amused. “What are you looking at?”

You laughed and let him dress in peace, occasionally peeking when you were sure he wasn’t watching.

As he donned his jacket, his expression turned serious. You knew that when he spoke, it would no longer be Erwin talking, but the Commander. You sighed, knowing your fun was over. He gave you a quick kiss and a curt goodbye and began to leave. He stopped at the door.

“[Name],” he said. “When I get home, we’ll talk about last night.”

You nodded reluctantly, and then you were alone once again. The memories from last night flooded back to you and you blushed at the thought of Levi’s insistent mouth on yours, his wiry form beneath your hands. You shook your head, as if the action would erase the thoughts. No. It was best if you just forgot about him. Not like you’d ever see him again after last night’s confrontation anyway…

You sighed and settled back into the pillows. It was so early and you were so sleepy… You drifted off.

When you awoke, the sun was high in the sky. You refused to open your eyes until you heard a soft rustling beside you. You opened them blearily and instantly met cold grey-blue irises, watching you curiously. Was this a dream? He looked so lovely in the sunlight, his ebony hair shining, in contrast with his pale skin. A shallow cut marked his lip, a reminder of last night.

“Good morning,” said Levi. “Sleep well.”

Realization hit you and you were suddenly fully awake. You scrambled back from him, clutching the bed clothes to your chest.

“ _What are you doing here_!?” you hissed angrily, swinging your free fist at his face. He avoided you easily and rolled off the bed, smirking. “Are you stupid? Why did you come back!?”

“Well, I had nothing bet-”

“OUT,” you shouted. “GET OUT, NOW!” You threw a pillow at his face, which he ducked with ease.

“Feisty in the mornings, aren't you?”

You flung yourself out of bed, ready to kick his ass, but you suddenly stopped as you caught him staring at you, amused. What? And then it hit you. You blushed scarlet as you remembered you were naked. Before you could react, he was standing before you, eyes dark with a hunger.

“Well now…” he said, softly.

* * * * * 

Levi watched the blonde-haired commander close the door behind him and set off down the street. When he was sure that he had gone and would not return, Levi darted from house to house, keeping to the shadows, until he reached the right one. He tested the door. Locked, of course. The commander wasn't stupid.

He crept around the back, and to his surprise, a window had been left unlocked. He smirked and proceeded to carefully turn the latch and heave himself inside. 

He found her sleeping peacefully, her [h/c] hair fanned out on the pillow behind her. He lay down beside her, and watched her sleep. He had no idea why he felt so drawn to her, why he kept abandoning all reason just to see her again. She was pretty, that was true, but he knew that was only part of his attraction. She was strong. Yes, that was it. Her strength reminded him of someone…

[Name] opened her eyes and looked at him sleepily.

“ _Good morning. Sleep well_?”

And before he knew it, her fist was fast approaching his face. He ducked just in time, rolling from the bed. She was yelling at him, but he was barely listening.

“ _OUT. GET OUT, NOW_!”

A pillow sailed towards his head, but he avoided that too.

“ _Feisty, aren't you_?”

Her face was pure rage as she leaped from her bed, intending to rain blows down upon him, he was sure. But she had forgotten one thing.

He stared at her, taking in her soft skin, the curve of her breasts. Unable to control himself, he strode forward until he stood in front of her. He could feel his heart beat quickening.

“ _Well, now_ …”

Her hand reached up to slap him, but he caught her by the wrist. She anticipated it, however, and before he could react her other hand caught him full in the face with a loud clap. Pain exploded across his cheek and he stepped back involuntarily, stunned.

[Name] was glaring at him angrily, her fist rising for another blow. He held up his hands in surrender.

“Alright. Obviously, _someone_ woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning.”

“Get out,” she said, her voice low. She was mad.

Realising he had crossed a line, he lowered his head in defeat. Anger boiled under his skin, threatening to release itself, but he had done enough damage already. Without a word, he turned on his heel and left, leaving her glaring angrily after him.


	7. Chapter 7

You drummed your fingers against the kitchen table as you waited for Erwin to arrive home. You had been in a foul mood all day thanks to that _asshole_ , Levi. You blushed again as you remembered his eyes on your naked body, and your palm stung with the memory of the blow you had dealt him. You hoped that he wasn’t too angry with you. The thought of what he could do to you… You shuddered.

Immediately after he had left, you had checked and double checked every lock on every window and door, though you doubted that would stop him if he was determined enough. Erwin was there at night if something happened, but during the day? Levi was strong, stronger than you, and you had special training from the Commander of the Survey Corps himself. You doubted you’d be able to hold him off for long.

You glanced at the window. The sun was just beginning to set, casting soft orange light into the small kitchen. Erwin would be home soon, a confrontation you were not looking forward to. You debated whether to tell him about this morning’s events, but that would only make him angrier, so you decided against it. You hoped Levi wouldn't have the nerve to bother you again, although you felt a small disappointment at the thought of never seeing again. There was just something about that man…

The scraping of the lock snapped you back into reality. _Uh oh_. Erwin entered, looking exhausted.

“Long day?” you asked.

He nodded and you stood to welcome him with a kiss and an embrace. He nuzzled your neck and breathed in deeply.

“I’d kill for a shower and a hot meal right now,” he said. “But you owe me an explanation.”

You drew back and frowned slightly.

“Does it really matter now?” you asked. “I doubt he’d have the nerve to show up here again after the scare you gave him last night.”

“Bastard was lucky I didn't break his teeth,” he snarled. “And I highly doubt the most feared thug within the walls is scared of much.”

“He may not be frightened, but he’s definitely not stupid. He knows he can’t stand up to you.”

“But what about when I’m not here, [Name]? What happens if you’re attacked during the day, or while you’re out?”

You remained silent, your thoughts flashing back to this morning.

Erwin placed his hands on your shoulders and looked down into your face. “I’ve been asked to move back to the barracks, so I can be closer to help train the new recruits. I’ve been given permission for you to move with me. This way you’ll be surrounded by soldiers around the clock, and I won’t have to worry ab-”

“ _What?_ Are you trying to monitor me? I’m not a child, Erwin!”

“I know that, but-”

You continued, the words coming out in a snarl. “Do you want to know what happened last night? At the bar? One of your _soldiers_ got drunk and decided that fucking the Commander’s fiancé would be a nice little challenge for him. It was _Levi_ who stopped him.”

Erwin looked surprised for a moment, then angry. “What was this soldier’s name?” His voice wavered with barely restrained anger.

“No idea. Guess he was too concerned with trying to shove his tongue down my throat,” you spat.

“The second I find out who it was, I’ll kill him,” hissed Erwin. “In the meantime, I want us to relocate to the barracks.”

“Well I’m not stopping you,” you said as you spun on your heel and stormed out.


	8. Chapter 8

“[Name!]”

You could hear Erwin calling after you, but it only made you walk faster, wrenching open the front door and slamming it shut behind you. You secretly wanted him to follow you, to grab your hand and whip you around and into his strong arms, to kiss you and say that he loved you. But he didn't, and so you kept walking. You didn't know where you were going and you didn't care, you just needed to get away.

The sky grew dark and the air cool as you walked. A cold breeze brushed over your bare arms and you grimaced at the touch, wishing you had thought to grab your coat. Too late now, you thought. There was no way you were going back to face Erwin.

As you wandered, you passed Felix’s tavern, a beacon of light and warmth on the cold and dark street. You had a sudden need for the heat of a flickering fire and a glass of whiskey. Stopping in your tracks, you turned and retraced your steps, pushing open the heavy wooden door. 

You were immediately engulfed with warmth and the familiar smells of beer and sweat. It was busy as usual, but Felix always had time for his favourite customer. You seated yourself at the bar and smiled at him sadly.

“The usual, [Name]?” he asked, his eyes kind. He could tell something was wrong.

“Something a little stronger, thanks Felix,” you replied with a sigh.

He nodded and reached for a glass.

“You know what?” you said. “Just give me the whole bottle.”

His eyes widened, but he obliged, not daring to question you.

And so you drank, and your thoughts soon became clouded. The noise of the bar quietened to a muffled roar, it patrons becoming nothing more than blurred shapes. You were vaguely aware of men attempting to talk to you, but they soon left you alone when they realised you wouldn't respond, muttering insults under their breath.

You heard the door swing open and felt a rush of cold air on your skin. The room went silent, and you looked up. Even in the state you were in, you knew who he was. You could recognise him even with your eyes closed, you thought. And so you closed your eyes, his image swimming across the insides of your eyelids. Slim figure, pale skin, his ebony hair, parted right in the middle, falling into steel blue eyes.

“What are you doing?” said a voice. His voice.

You only hummed in response, not opening your eyes.

“Look at me,” he said, sternly. 

You obliged, opening your eyes and gazing at him with unfocused pupils. Levi looked even more beautiful in the firelight. You giggled at the thought of calling the king of criminals 'beautiful'.

He grimaced and grabbed your chin with rough hands, examining your eyes. He released you.

“ _Tch_ , you’re drunk,” he said.

“Duh,” you giggled.

He narrowed his eyes. “I’m taking you home.” he said simply, standing and taking hold of your wrist. You protested as he wrestled the bottle out of your grip. “Uh-uh-uh, you've had quite enough of that.”

You pouted, and he frowned at you, pulling you to your unsteady feet and dragging you, stumbling from the bar. Once you were both out in the cool air, you planted your feet, stopping his advance. You shook your head.

“I can’t go home,” you said. “Erwin-”

“What did he do to you?”

You were shocked by the sudden ferocity in his voice.

“Nothing! He was just…”

“What. Did. He. Do?” Levi hissed, grabbing your shoulders.

“We just fought, that’s all!”

Seemingly satisfied, he released you. You swayed on your feet without his support. The ground seemed to jerk and heave beneath you.

“Uh, Levi?”

He grunted.

“I-I don’t feel so good.”

You heard him cursing under his breath as the darkness enclosed you.

* * * * *

“ _Uh, Levi? I don’t feel so good_.”

Levi rushed to her side, cursing. He managed to catch her before she hit the ground, encircling her in his arms. She was out cold.

“Damn it!” he said, gathering up her limp body. He gazed at her sleeping face. Gods, she was beautiful. He could feel his breath hitch in his throat as he watched her lips part slightly, remembering what they felt like against his own. He debated what to do with her. He could take her back to his place, but it was a long way away and it was cold. He didn't want her to freeze to death. He had no choice but to take her home.

“Why are you so _troublesome_?” he growled as he carried her off along the dark street.


	9. Chapter 9

He reached [Name]’s house and pounded on the door. After a few minutes it opened to reveal a tired and sullen looking Erwin, his blonde hair tousled from running his fingers through it out of frustration. He snarled when he saw who his visitor was.

“What are you doing here?”

Levi stepped forward slightly so that the light from the kitchen fell on [Name]’s face. Erwin’s eyes widened.

“What have you done to her?” he said, voice dark with rage.

“You did this,” Levi hissed as he shoved past the great hulk of a man blocking the doorway. He carried [Name] to the bedroom and laid her down gently on the soft covers. Erwin had followed him and now stood in the doorway, watching warily. Levi ignored him.

“Is she okay?” Erwin tentatively asked.

“ _Tch_ , she’ll be fine. No thanks to you.” Levi snapped back. His voice softened a little as he looked at her, sleeping so peacefully it seemed. “She was drinking.”

Erwin cursed. “And that’s _my_ fault?”

Levi turned to him and eyed with contempt. “Yes,” he said simply, returning his attention to [Name]. Before he knew what he was doing, he pushed a strand of [h/c] hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. His fingers lingered against her cheek for a moment before he was torn away from her a shoved roughly against the wall, pinned at the neck by Erwin’s muscular forearm. His head hit the wood with a sickening crack, and he could feel warm blood begin to trickle down the back of his neck.

“Don’t you touch her,” snarled Erwin, his face only centimetres from Levi’s. Levi glared at him defiantly, aware that his vision was beginning to swim and that he was steadily leaking blood all over the bedroom floor. When he didn’t reply, Erwin released him with an expression of disgust.

“Get out,” he spat, seating himself on the bed beside [Name] and reaching for her hand.

“I’m not leaving until I know she’s going to be okay,” said Levi, glaring at Erwin.

“You said she’d be fine.”

“And if she’s not, I’m holding you responsible.”

“And what will you do, kill me?” said Erwin coldly.

“For starters,” replied Levi.

“Do you really think you have the strength? There’s not limit to what I’d do for the one I love.” Erwin gazed at [Name], a strange expression on his face.

The words rolled from Levi’s tongue before he could put a stop to them. “And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.”

Erwin’s shoulders stiffened. “How can you say that when you barely even know her? We’ve been together four years. Four years! The day I asked her to marry me was the happiest in my life. She is my reason to live, my motivation for staying alive. It’s for her that I keep fighting so that one day we can live free from fear of those fucking titans. You can’t possibly understand the things I’d do for her.”

“Maybe I can’t, but it doesn't change how I feel.”

Erwin sighed, all traces of anger gone. “You really care for her. I understand that. I’m sure if you didn’t you would not have brought her back to me.”

“I’m staying until she wakes up.”

“So be it.”

*   *   *

You woke in the early hours of the morning, your head throbbing, your throat dry and with no memory of the previous night after your fight with Erwin. You could vaguely recall raised voices at some point in the night, but it could have easily been a dream. 

Erwin lay beside you, still fast asleep, his arms encircling you protectively. You guessed that meant you were forgiven. _What happened last night?_

You yawned and stretched, disentangling yourself from amongst the sheets and the arms of your lover, and made your way to the bathroom where you showered quickly and brushed the foul taste from your mouth. _I must have been drinking_ , you thought. When you returned, Erwin was waiting for you. He sighed with relief and stood to embrace you. You returned the embrace halfheartedly. He may have forgiven you, but you certainly hadn't forgiven him, and no amount of pressing you against his naked chest was going to make you.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said. “Now I can tell that stubborn bastard to leave.”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” you pulled back. “Who are you talking about?”

“Go see for yourself. I doubt he’d take my word for it anyway,” Erwin huffed.  
You looked at him, puzzled.

“You really don’t remember?” he asked. “That Levi found you and brought you home last night. You were out cold.”

Your eyes widened. “Levi?” You could feel your heart beat begin to quicken at the mere mention of his name. 

You quickly dressed and entered the kitchen to find Levi leaning back in a chair, his bare feet propped on the table. He wore only a thin white shirt, half unbuttoned to reveal his pale wiry chest, and loose fitting pants. A blanket was folded neatly on the couch in the living room behind him. _He slept here._

Levi’s eyes widened as you entered. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said.

“Thanks to you,” you replied shyly. You noticed a dark stain marked the crisp fabric of his shirt at the shoulder. You frowned. “You’re hurt.”

Levi gave a short laugh. “Courtesy of your fiancé. Rather possessive, isn't he?”

“Erwin did this? Let me look.”

He nodded, watching you closely as you approached him. You notice his hair was matted at the back, knotted with dried blood. You gasped.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he said.

“It looks pretty bad,” you gulped.

He grimaced. “Believe me, I've had worse.”

“It needs to be cleaned,” you said, walking back around to face him. “Do you mind?”

He shook his head. You fetched a bowl, filling it with water, and took a clean cloth from the draw by the sink. Placing the bowl on the table, you wet the cloth and squeezed of the excess water, positioning yourself behind Levi. As you cleaned the wound, you marveled at the softness of his hair. You had to fight the urge to run your fingers through it. You blushed at the thought.

“Erwin told me you brought me home last night,” you said, attempting to keep your mind away from his gloriously smooth hair.

Levi merely grunted.

“Thank you,” you said, as earnestly as you could.

Surprised at your gratitude, he tilted his head back to look at you. His steel blue eyes, normally so hard and cold, had softened. You liked that look. Cautiously, you leaned forward and before he could realise what you were doing, you pressed your lips to his. When you broke apart he simply stared at you in wonder, and you smiled back. The smile was wiped from your face, however, when you caught the eye of your fiancé across the room.


	10. Chapter 10

Levi smirked. “Well, that’s my cue to leave.” He snatched up his coat and boots, and before you could protest he was out the door, giving you one last lingering look before he disappeared.

You watched him go, leaving you to the mercy of your fiancé. You turned to look at him, guilt written across your face. To your surprise, he didn’t seem angry, just sad.

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question.

You swallowed and nodded, casting your eyes to the floor. “I tried to deny it, but…”

Erwin sat down heavily with a sigh. He remained silent for a time, deep in thought. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft.

“I never thought it would end like this. Hell, I thought I would die before it even ended at all. I suppose it’s better this way, though. No more worrying about whether I’m going to come back to you alive or in pieces.”

“Erwin, I-” you began, but he cut you off.

“He can protect you better than I can. He can be there when you need him to be. That’s something I could never do, not as long as the Titans still live.”

Tears were streaming down your face as you pressed your hand to your mouth to suppress a sob. Erwin stood and wrapped his strong arms around you, holding you close for a moment before leaving you to sink slowly to the floor.

He packed his possessions. By the time he had finished, it was growing dark and your tears had dried on your face.

“[Name]?” he said, kneeling beside you. You looked at him. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“I've made my decision,” you said. Erwin nodded sadly and gave you one last lingering kiss on the cheek, before standing and heaving a heavy bag onto his shoulder. He left you there, on the kitchen floor, alone and numb. _Was it the right decision?_

A knock sounded on the door, snapping out of your trance. How long had it been? An hour? Three? The sky outside the window was dark as pitch. A voice called out.

“[Name]?” You recognised it instantly.

Your breath hitching in your throat, you sprang to your feet, almost running to the door. You threw it open, and there he was.

“ _Levi_ ,” you breathed, and before he knew it you had pulled him inside and wrapped your arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. He seemed shocked when you broke apart, then he smiled.

“Finally,” he growled, pulling you close and crushing his lips against yours. 

He pushed you up against the door, his kiss deepening. You arced your body against his, running you fingers through his silken ebony hair, causing him to gasp against your mouth. You slid his coat from his shoulders, letting it fall the floor in a crumpled pile, soon joined by your shirt which he had slid carefully over your head, fingers skimming softly up your sides. He nipped gently at your bottom lip, asking entrance, and you obliged, letting his tongue explore you mouth. You moaned against him and hastily began unbuttoning his shirt, your shaking fingers brushing his pale muscled chest as you worked your way down, before it too was discarded on the floor. Levi began trailing kisses across your jaw and down your neck, pausing at intervals to give you a soft bite, each one causing you a small pang of pleasure.

“You’re mine now,” he purred, his teeth grazing your collarbone. He reached around and unhooked your bra, letting it fall away from you, before continuing his way south to your breasts, where he stayed a while, tasting the salt on your skin. You threw your head back and moaned, finger entangled in his hair. You could feel him smiling against your skin, and he continued downward until he was kneeling in front of you. With deft hands, he undid the button on your jeans and slid them slowly down your legs, followed by your underwear. You shivered as your skin became exposed to the cool night air. He stood and kissed you again, softly this time.

“You’re beautiful,” said Levi, eyes drinking in every inch of you, his voice husky with desire. You blushed. Without warning, he picked you up bridal style, laughing at the small yelp you made, and carried you to the bedroom in his arms.

Levi placed you carefully on the bed, and began unlacing his boots with swift fingers, his eyes never leaving you. You rolled onto your side and propped yourself up on your elbow, watching him through half lidded eyes. His breath hitched at the sight of you, and he began working faster, his desire visibly growing. 

In moments, the boots were discarded, and he unbuttoned his pants. The second they were gone, he lowered himself onto you, a low growl escaping his throat as he positioned himself between your thighs. He paused and looked at you.

“I've wanted to do this since I first saw you,” he whispered, burying his face in your neck, skimming his teeth across your flushed skin. 

You cupped his face and brought it close to your own so that your [e/c] eyes could meet his blue-grey ones. “Then what are you waiting for?” you said.

And with that he thrust into you, agonisingly slow, your nails digging into his back as you pulled him closer to you, further into you. He began a pace, slow at first then steadily speeding up until you were both panting, moaning, begging for more…

You could feel yourself being pushed higher and higher, until you couldn't take it anymore. “Levi,” you groaned, feeling a deep flush creep over you face and chest and your stomach tighten. Levi moaned, wrapping his arms about you and lifting you onto his lap, thrusting one last time as you both released.

You clutched at him, breathing hard, stroking his soft hair. He rested his cheek against your chest and smiled. He surprised you by whispering an “I love you, [Name]”.

Your face broke into a smile. “I love you too.”


	11. Chapter 11

_Did I really make the right choice?_

You had been asking yourself that questions a lot over the last two months, and always you would answer yes, though as time went on, the hesitation between question and answer became steadily longer, drawn out. Now, you could not even say it.

There was no doubt that you loved Levi, you had left your _fiancé_ for him, but you could not help but wonder if it was the wrong choice to make. He had promised he’d be there for you, protect you with his own life, and yet where was he now? He hadn't told you, of course. His lifestyle did not exactly lend itself to the sharing of his criminal activities.

It wasn’t that you had expected him to sweep you off to his castle in the underground and make you his Queen, but you had hoped, at least, that he trusted you enough to tell you what he was up to. You had also expected to see more of him than you currently did, after he practically stalked you for three days when you had met. But after that first night together, he never stayed until morning, opting instead to sneak out in the hours before dawn, leaving you to wake up alone and shivering from the lack of warmth you were so used to when you were with Erwin. 

Sometimes, you wouldn’t even see Levi for days. There was no warning as to when he would disappear like that, and when he finally returned, so great was your relief that you forgot to question it, and instead succumbed to your lover’s warm embrace and frenzied kisses for a night. And, of course, by morning he’d be gone.

You had not seen Levi in three days now, and as you headed home from work at the Tavern, you wondered absently if he would be making an appearance that night. You made a vow tonight that you would bring the issue up with him and not let yourself be hypnotised by his steel blue gaze or his whispered love confessions.

You reached your house, fumbling in your pocket for the key. You grasped it and brought it out to unlock the door, but it opened before you. You jumped slightly, and smiled, lifting your gaze to the figure in the doorway. You had been expecting Levi, but that was not who greeted you.

_“Erwin?”_

“[Name].”

He did not smile at you, but nodded, his eyes softening. He stepped back to let you pass and as soon as you were inside to closed the door behind you and pulled him into a tight hug. He stiffened at the contact, hesitating for a moment before he lifted his arms to return the embrace, careful not to stand too close. You pulled back and frowned at him.

“Why so formal?” you asked.

“I’m here on business,” he remarked, his face expressionless. “I thought it would be best if I came myself, despite my reluctance.” He said the last word with a hint of bitterness you had never heard before.

“What business could the Commander of the Survey Corps have with me?” 

“Not with you, with Levi. Is he here?” He strode over to the dining table and took a seat.

You blinked, unsure if you’d hear him right. “With _Levi_?” You couldn’t hide the hurt from your voice. You had not spoken with Erwin in two months, and you were happy to see him again, but he seemed cold, formal. This wasn’t the Erwin you knew, but the Commander.

“Levi’s not here. I don’t know if he will be tonight,” you said bitterly.

Erwin cocked his head slightly. “Trouble in paradise?” His eyes flashed with an unfamiliar emotion. 

“Not your business,” you snapped back.

Erwin dropped the subject quickly. He knew you well enough to not stir your anger. He sat silent for what seemed like a long while, during which you took a seat opposite him, studying his face.

“[Name]?”

“Mm?”

“Are you… Happy? With the choice you made.”

You did not know how to reply. Were you?

“I don’t know,” you said softly, eyes cast downward. Erwin surprised you then by reaching across the table and taking your hands in his. He squeezed gently.

“I want you to know… I don’t resent you for the choice you made. But I wish you had chosen differently.”

Tears sprang to your eyes then as your guilt flared up. “Erwin, I –”

“What is he doing here?” a familiar voice snarled from over your shoulder.


	12. Chapter 12

You froze as the two men stared each other down, Erwin with unwavering confidence, Levi with barely restrained anger.

“ _What is he doing here_?” Levi snarled again. 

You pulled your hands out of Erwin’s grasp and rushed to Levi’s side, but you were too late. The shorter man had already stridden forward, fists clenched and his face set with determination and fury. Erwin stood to meet him, expression grim, blue eyes never leaving those of the advancing man. Levi stopped before the Commander, gazing up into the face of the towering blonde soldier. Despite the obvious height difference, Levi stood as if he was ten feet tall, and Erwin faced him with a look that exuded a confidence that would intimidate any man. But Levi wasn’t any man.

Levi’s fists clenched. You opened your mouth in an attempt to dissuade him, but Erwin beat you to the punch.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” he said softly. “I could have you arrested at any time.”

Levi froze, face livid. “You brought back-up.”

Erwin nodded, though he knew it wasn’t a question. “The Military Police’s finest, awaiting my signal if anything should go wrong.”

Levi shot a glance toward the front window, but was met only by darkness. Still, he proceeded with caution. He relaxed his fists and reached out, pulling you to his side. You breathed a sigh of relief. The last thing you needed was a fight on your hands. His arm circled your waist protectively as he stared Erwin down.

“What do you want? Here to steal [Name] back?” He was only half joking.

Erwin laughed, short and bitter. “I wouldn’t need to steal her if you were locked up, would I?” You looked between the two men in horror. “But I won’t do that,” he continued. “Because I now if I did, she would never forgive me.” He turned his gaze to you in that moment and you saw it – the sadness, the pain. He still loved you, and he had regretted every moment since he had given you up.

“No, I’m here to ask something of you, Levi,” Erwin said, returning his blue gaze to the man beside you.

“I don’t take orders from you. Nor anyone, for that matter.”

“Not an order, a request.”

Both you and Levi were puzzled. “I’m listening,” said Levi cautiously.

“You’re strong, Levi, and smart, incredibly smart, though not in the way most people would expect.”

“Sounds like you have a competitor for my affections, [Name],” Levi smirked. You rolled your eyes, and Erwin ignored him.

“It’s that kind of strength and intelligence that we could use in the Survey Corps. You can say no, and we will leave, but I urge you to at least consider this proposal.”

Levi simply stared at the Commander, unsure that he had heard him right. When Erwin’s stony expression didn’t change, Levi blinked and burst into a fit of harsh laughter. You gaped at him. Since when did Levi laugh?

“You’re serious? You want _me_ in the military?” he shook his head, still smiling slightly. “I guess it’s true what they say about the Survey Corps, you really _are_ insane.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” Erwin remarked coldly.

“I didn’t say that.”

“You can’t be considering-” you began, staring at him in shock, but Levi cut you off.

“I’ll think on it,” he said, his expression serious.

You were speechless. Levi in the Survey Corps? Levi _taking orders_? And from none other than his lover’s ex-fiancé, no less.

Erwin’s eyes flashed with a hint of triumph. Levi noticed this.

“Hey, don’t get cocky. That wasn’t a ‘yes’ either.”

“I’ll give you three days to give me your final answer. Until then.” Erwin nodded to the both of you, his gaze lingering on yours just a second too long, long enough for you to see the sadness he tried so hard to hide. He left without saying another word.

You turned to Levi. “ _Really_?”

Levi simply looked at you, his expression unreadable. “I’m not sure yet. I need to think.” He smirked suddenly and before you knew it he had you wrapped tightly in his arms, his lips skimming your jawline as he growled low in your ear. “In the meantime…”

You giggled, and almost gave in, but you remembered the promise you made to yourself earlier that night. You shoved him away from you, your anger rekindled.

“Wait just one second. Where the _fuck_ have you been? It’s been three days, Levi, three days and not a word!”

Levi was silent. He tried to pull you back into an embrace, but you dodged his outstretched arms.

“[Name]-”

“No.” You glared at him, and he glared back with his cold, steel blue gaze. “An explanation. Now.”

He sighed. “I can’t be seen here.” 

You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off.

“Because it would compromise the both of us.” His voice was insistent. “If I were to be seen coming and going from this place too often, if I stayed too long, it could lead my enemies straight to you. They would use you to get to me, to lure me here or to ambush me. Either way, you would end up getting hurt or worse, and I can’t stand to have that happen.”

 _Of course_ , you thought. _How did I not come to that conclusion_? You cast your gaze downward. “Of course. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

"Of course, they can find me now, thanks to your ex," he growled. "Maybe I should just kill him..."

"Levi!" you cried, horrified.

He smiled ruefully. "It was a joke. Mostly..."

He stepped forward and wrapped you in his strong arms, pulling your head to his chest. “In all seriousness though, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t give you the life you want. But I promise you will never be in danger because of me. I’ll protect you, even if it costs me my own life.”

You looked up at him, teary-eyed. “Levi…”

He took your chin in his hand and tilted your face toward him, pressing his lips against yours. “I love you, [Name]. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You smiled through your tears. “I love you too.”

He smiled and took your hand, leading you in the direction of your bedroom. He smirked as he looked back at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Now, let’s go make the most of the time we have together.”


	13. Chapter 13

Even with Levi beside you that night, you could not sleep. Your mind was whirring, ticking over the conversation you had had with Erwin earlier in the evening.

_Are you… Happy?_

Were you? You turned your head slightly, gaze falling on the sleeping man at your side. His face was peaceful, his breaths coming in shallow puffs that ruffled the ebony hair that fell messily across his face. You felt your heart begin to beat faster at the mere sight of him, a warm feeling in your chest. When it was like this, yes, you were happy. But these moments were oh so rare…

How many of these moments would there be if he joined the Survey Corps? As much as you loved Erwin, those nights you spent sleepless and alone, worrying, praying for his safe return. You didn’t want to go back to that. And yet, was that life really so different to the one you lived now? At least Erwin was able to stay with you until morning. You would wake up to his tousled blonde hair and his warm embrace. With Levi, there was only the cold emptiness of the sheets beside you.

You glanced at the window and were surprised to see a tinge of purple in the night sky. It was almost dawn already. You heard a rustling beside you as Levi shifted, pushing the covers back ever so gently so as not to wake you. He pressed a light kiss to your temple before you felt his weight shift from the mattress. You rolled over to watch him.

“Levi…”

He froze in the midst of buttoning his pants and looked at you. “You should be sleeping,” he scolded gently.

“Can’t,” you responded sleepily. “Stay with me.”

“You know I can’t.”

“I know,” you said sadly. “I was hoping this was a dream, and you wouldn’t have to leave.”

He sighed and smiled at you warmly. Your heart fluttered as you smiled back sleepily. He walked over to the bed and sat down, cupping your cheek in one calloused hand.

“There is nothing I want more than to stay with you tonight, to wake up to those eyes, and that terrible bed hair.” He laughed at the noise of protest you made as he tousled your hair. “But I have business to attend to.” He kissed you gently. “I’ll be back before you know it. Get some rest.”

You nodded, feeling your eyelids begin to droop. Finally, you dozed off.

You awoke to a strange metallic clanking sound emanating from the kitchen. Suddenly wide awake, you dressed quickly and exited the bedroom, treading carefully down the hall so as not to alert the intruder. You gasped when you saw who it was.

“Levi? I thought you had business to take care of?”

He looked around at you and smirked. “I did. I’m done now.”

You rolled your eyes, and then let them fall on the object Levi was fiddling with on the table. Your recognised it instantly.

“What are you doing with 3D maneuver gear?” He remained silent. “Levi, did you _steal_ that?!”

He shrugged, sliding one of the gas canisters into place. 

“You realise that stealing from the military is an offense, right?”

He turned to look at you pointedly. “[Name]… I’m a _criminal_.”

“That’s no excuse! If anyone finds out about this it could seriously hurt your chances of joining the Survey Corps.”

“Wasn't planning on joining anyway,” he said, shrugging once again. He strapped the gear around his waist, tightening the leather harness he wore to ensure it was secured correctly. A sudden gleam appeared in his steel blue eyes. “Care to fly with me?” He held out his hand to you.

“Er, do you even know how to use that?” you asked uncertainly.

“I have a vague idea. Can’t be too difficult if your ex can do it-”

You glared at him. “You are not getting me in that thing.”

“We’ll see about that.” He took the operating devices in his hands and scooped you up into his arms, before rushing out the open door. You struggled against him but he held you tight as wires shot from the gear at his waist, embedding themselves in a wall and lifting you both into the air. 

You gasped and hid your face in the crook of Levi’s neck, expecting to feel yourself tumbling in empty space, but the feeling did not come. Levi laughed softly.

“You really think I’d take you with me if this was my first time flying? It’s ok, you can look.” And you did.

You were soaring above buildings; the entire town of Zhiganshina looking like it was built from a child’s toy blocks. You felt tall, as if you could rival even the height of the walls. _This must be how a titan feels._

Levi changed direction, taking you higher and closer to the edge of the city. The wall loomed before you, but still he kept going – up and up, until suddenly you were standing on the wall, still wrapped in his arms as you gazed outward in wonder.

He smiled at the look on your face. “I knew you’d like it,” he said, nuzzling your neck.

“It’s beautiful,” you said, eyes taking in the vast expanse of green and blue.

He took your hand and led you to the edge, where he sat you down. Together you gazed into the horizon.

“I always wondered what was out there, you know?” he said suddenly, surprising you. “For so long I knew that this couldn’t be all there was. There’s no way a whole world could be confined within just three walls.”

You remained silent, watching him curiously. He rarely talked about himself.

“These walls feel like a cage sometimes, claustrophobic almost. I hate that feeling. Maybe that’s why I make such a good criminal. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to escape this claustrophobia.”

“Levi… Are you saying-?”

“That I want to join the Survey Corps? No… I thought I wanted it. That was before I looked down…”

You followed his gaze downward, to the base of the wall. You pressed a hand against your mouth in horror at what you saw waiting for you. They were huge, and grotesque, clawing with hands just aching to crush your bones. You had never seen one before. A titan.

Levi turned to you. “I don’t want freedom if it means it could be taken away from me again in a heartbeat… By one of _them._ ”

You nodded, understanding. Suddenly a shout came from your left. A soldier bearing the mark of the garrison was hurrying toward you.

“Hey! Civilians aren’t allowed up here!”

Levi was quick on his feet. “That’s our cue to leave,” he said, smirking. “Fly with me?”

You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him.

“Anywhere.”


	14. Chapter 14

You both returned home that evening in high spirits. For once in your life, you had had a taste of freedom, and it was Levi who had shown it to you. You watched the ebony-haired man as he removed the gear, and felt warmth begin to spread through your chest. He looked more relaxed than you had ever seen him. You smiled at him absently, admiring the way his hair fell over his steel blue eyes, the look of concentration he wore as quick fingers worked on removing the harness straps. He noticed you watching and smirked.

“What?”

You shook your head, smiling. “Nothing. It’s just… You look happy.”

He set the gear down on the table and stepped in front of you, gently taking your face in his hands. “How could I not be?” He leaned in to kiss you softly on the lips, short and sweet. When he pulled away, his face was deep in thought.

“What’s wrong?”

He stroked your cheek gently. “I want to stay with you tonight. The whole night,” he said hesitantly. Your face brightened visibly, and he smiled slightly. “It’s dangerous. Not just for me.”

“I can take care of myself.”

“I’m well aware.” His face turned grim all of a sudden. “I wish I could give you the life you want. I hate the thought that every second I spend with you is putting you in danger.”

It was your turn to take Levi’s face in your hands. You caressed his cheeks and smiled. “You've already given me everything I could ever want. And you don’t need to worry about me.”

His face softened. “I love you, [Name].”

“Then stay with me tonight.” You kissed him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close. His arms snaked around your waist, responding in kind. You welcomed his tongue as it entered your mouth, warm and wet. When you broke apart, you were both panting slightly.

“I think you've convinced me,” he growled.

With a small tug, you led him in the direction of your room. He smirked when he realised what you intended and you flashed him an impish grin in return. You went on ahead, sliding your shirt over your head and tossing it aside, glancing at him over your bare shoulder, before starting on the remainder of your clothing. Levi followed at a leisurely pace, content on simply watching the performance you were putting on for him. 

When he reached the doorway, you were already waiting for him on the bed. His steel blue yes roamed over your naked body, and you heard his sharp intake of breath. You beckoned him closer, and he approached swiftly, removing his coat and shirt as he did so, eyes never leaving yours. As soon as he was within your reach, you pulled him down to you, enveloping him in a tight embrace and pressing your lips against his.

You skin tingled as Levi’s fingers explored every inch of you, eliciting moans from between your lips. His mouth found your neck and you gasped and arced into him, feeling him smirk at your reaction.

“How do you do this to me?” you groaned, panting as his mouth began to move south to your breasts.

Chuckling, he brought his lips back up to your ear. “I’m just that good,” he purred, sending a shiver through your spine. His hand trailed down your stomach and between your thighs, inciting more moans from you.

“Ever the modest one, Levi,” you managed to get out between moans, smirking slightly.

“You drive me crazy too, you know?” he growled, grinding his hips against your thigh. You could feel him hardening, straining against his pants.

You hummed in appreciation, and in one swift movement, you flipped Levi onto his back, your legs straddling his waist. “Is that so?” you said, grinding against him softly. He threw his head back, fingers gripping tightly at your hips. The mere sight of you above him was almost too much.

Releasing your pressure on his hips, you worked at unbuckling his belt, sliding it out through the belt loops and casting it to the floor with a clatter. He watched with a bemused expression as you then slowly, teasingly, undid the button and zipper of his pants, sliding them down and tossing them aside. His undergarments followed suit, and the pressure upon his hips returned.

Levi’s hands returned to your hips, positioning you above him, his breaths falling hard and heavy with anticipation. Without a moment’s hesitation you lowered yourself onto him, letting out a moan as he filled you. His moans joined yours when you began rolling your hips rhythmically, your hands tracing the hard lines of his abs and the rough pink scars that marred them.

He met each of your movements with a thrust of his own; increasing the pace until the air grew hot and sticky, and filled with the sounds of gasps and moans. You groaned his name as you drew closer to your release and he responded by flipping you onto your back, where he took over, thrusting deeper, faster.

When you both finished, Levi nuzzled your neck, giving a few last gentle thrusts before withdrawing and wrapping you tightly in his wiry arms, sending you off into a pleasant sleep.

When you awoke, morning sunlight filtered through the small window, warming your bare skin. You felt a breath ripple through your hair and you turned slightly to see Levi beside you, fast asleep. You sighed happily, admiring the way the sunlight gave his ebony hair a bluish sheen, and his pale skin a soft glow. You returned your head to the pillow and dozed off again, a small smile gracing your features.

_This is all I ever wanted…_


	15. Chapter 15

You awoke to a strange feeling in the pit of your stomach, a churning, nauseating sensation that had you in a cold sweat. Struggling into a sitting position, you glanced over at Levi, still fast asleep in the bed beside you.

_He really did stay the whole night…_

You smiled at him, admiring the tousled state of his hair, the way his wiry chest rose and fell with each steady breath from his sightly parted lips. However, the smile was short lived as a wave of dizziness overcame you and your stomach lurched dangerously. You bent over, clutching your abdomen, waiting for it to pass.

_Am I sick?_

Careful not to disturb Levi, you slipped from between the covers and raced down the hall to the bathroom, arriving just in time. You clutched the edge of the toilet bowl, hands white and shaking as you emptied the contents of your stomach. Thankfully, you had not eaten yet.

Your body shaking, your face pale, you collapsed in a heap of limbs to the side, leaning your head against the cool wall. You felt hot, and yet your skin was covered in goose bumps, and you shivered as miniature waves of nausea rolled over you.

“[Name]?” called a sleepy voice from the hall. You gave a weak reply and Levi entered, confusion written across his face.

“What are you doing? Come back to-” He stopped, noticing how pale you had gone, and the shivers that wracked your body. Alarmed he rushed to your side, kneeling down and gripping you face in his hands.

“What is it? Are you alright?”

You nodded, wincing as you suppressed another wave of nausea. “I… I think I’m okay now… I must have caught something, or maybe I ate something bad…”

Levi looked concerned. “You should see a doctor.” 

“I’m fine, really,” you insisted, clambering to your feet as if to prove a point. A doctor was the last person you needed to see. You could not face the confirmation of your suspicions. Not now.

“I’m fetching a doctor,” Levi declared, rising to his feet and exiting the room. You heard the sounds of him gathering his clothes and boots, preparing to leave.

“I don’t need a doctor. I feel fine.” You followed him into the bedroom, trying your hardest to quell the shaking in your limbs.

“You don’t look it. You’re as pale as a ghost, [Name]. Go back to bed, I’ll return soon.” He pecked you on the cheek, pulling his coat about his shoulders.

“Are you sure it’s safe for you to be out?”

“I have my ways of remaining invisible. Bed. Now." He took hold of your shoulders and gently pushed you back into bed, pulling the covers over your shivering form.

“I’m not a child,” you muttered as he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“I’m well aware. Now shut up and go back to sleep. I love you.” He left without another word, leaving you alone once again with the bitter taste of bile on your tongue, burning the back of your throat. You gagged slightly, the nausea returning.

_What am I going to do?_

Ignoring Levi’s orders, you hauled yourself out of bed once more, returning to the bathroom. You stood before the mirror above the sink, examining your face. Levi had been right, you were as pale as a sheet, a thin film of sweat coating your skin.

You turned the tap, letting the cool water pool in your cupped hands before splashing it over your face. Pulling your hair back from your forehead, you gasped as the freezing liquid ran down your face in rivulets, washing away the nausea and the anxiety. You stared at your reflection.

“What am I going to do?” you asked it. It merely stared back without saying a word, as expected. You sighed, and bent to rinse your mouth, washing the foul taste from your tongue, before returning to bed, where you curled up into a ball beneath the covers and waited for Levi to return.

You had drifted off, and when you awoke a few hours later, Levi was shaking you gently.

“[Name], Doctor Jaeger is here to see you.”

You slowly sat up as the doctor entered and sent Levi from the room. He protested, but reluctantly gave in to the doctor’s demands, shutting the door tightly on his way out.

“I’m going to need to run some tests name…”

* * * * *

When Levi was allowed back in half an hour later, you were sitting with your knees pulled up to you chin, your back against the headboard of the bed. You looked up as he entered your expression blank. He could tell you were in shock.

Doctor Jaeger excused himself, giving the two of you some privacy.

“It is that bad?”

“Hm? No… It’s not bad… I’m not sick.”

Levi visibly relaxed, sitting beside you and pulling you into his arms. “That’s a relief to hear.” He kissed your forehead.

“Care to tell me what’s wrong then?”

You hesitated. _How will he react to this?_ “I’m pregnant, Levi.”

Levi froze, his arms stiffening around you. He released you from his embrace, and he shifted away slightly. “I see… How far along?”

You hesitated again, and Levi seemed to see the reluctance in your eyes. His face darkened. “It’s not mine.”

“I don’t know,” you admitted.

Levi stood abruptly, turning to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“I need some time to think.” And with that he was gone. Again. Like so many time before. You felt tears roll down your cheeks as you asked yourself: 

_Will he come back this time?_

* * * * *

The room was dark, barring a single candle that illuminated a desk scattered with papers. They bore numbers and letters, most meaningless to Levi, and yet he recognised some. Words and dates jumped out at him, familiar yet strange.

_Death records._

“What made you change your mind?” asked the blonde man seated behind the desk, chin propped up on interlaced fingers, brilliant blue eyes devoid of emotion.

“Things changed. I… I need to make things right.”

“What happened?”

Levi shifted uncomfortably, grimacing. “[Name] is pregnant.”

“Congratulations. You’ll make a wonderful father.” Levi knew he did not mean it. He could practically hear the venom injected into each word. “How far along?”

“Two months.”

Erwin’s eyes widened, the first emotion Levi had seen him display since the night they had met. Deep in thought, he slowly took in this information.

“Well, it seems we need to have a talk, man to man.”


	16. Chapter 16

_“Well, it seems we need to have a talk, man to man.”_

Neither man spoke, the silence stretching out between them while the candle flickered and burned ever lower. Levi stood by the door, arms folded across his chest, back to the wall and head hung low, concealing his face in shadow. Erwin simply watched him with cold blue eyes, face expressionless. 

“Two months…” Levi flinched as Erwin broke the silence, sensing the barely restrained emotion his voice. Whether it was surprise or rage, he could not tell, though he suspected it was both. Blue eyes swiveled his way, boring into his skull.

“Is it mine?”

“She doesn't know. It could be either of us.”

Erwin’s lips pressed together in a hard line. “So you did sleep with her. Tell me, did she at least have the decency to wait until we were over, or were you fucking her already?”

Levi launched himself of the wall, teeth bared and fists clenched, a feral growl ripping his throat. Erwin stood, placing his hands calmly on the desk before him, meeting Levi’s savage gaze with squarely, stopping him in his tracks. He spoke without so much as a quiver of his voice.

“Or did you rape her the night you met her?”

“BASTARD!” Levi roared “How can you say that?! I love her!”

“If you truly loved her you would have left her alone. Did you really think she’d be happy with the life of a criminal?” Erwin hissed.

Levi glared at the soldier, his breath ragged. Oh how he wanted to kill this man, wanted to tear his throat out for hurting [Name]. But he knew she would never forgive him. He forced himself to relax, hands falling limply at his sides.

“I know she’s not happy…” he said softly. “Which is why I’m here.”

“Ah yes, your change of heart. You told me last we met that you wanted nothing to do with the military.” Erwin’s watched the shorter man curiously, a slight smirk appearing on his face.

“Circumstances changed.”

Erwin eyes flashed. “What makes you think we would accept you now, after you so rudely refused us?”

Levi knew the man was toying with him. Erwin knew all too well that the futures of [Name] and her unborn child rested in his hands, that his decision could mean the difference between a life of comfort for her or a life of ruin. But Levi also knew that Erwin would never risk the wellbeing and safety of the woman he loved, especially since discovering she may be carrying his child. Levi knew without a doubt that the young Commander could only accept his proposal.

“Erwin…”

A look of surprise passed the blond man’s face as his name passed between those lips – the first emotion he had let slip past his mask.

“I love her, and you’re right – she deserves better than this... I’m sure you’ll agree that the wife of a soldier is a much more respectable position.”

“She could have had that with me, and yet she threw it away for a lowly thug. What makes you think she won’t do the same to you?”

Levi held his chin high as he met the Commander’s gaze with conviction. “Because I won’t just be a husband, I’ll be a father. You had your chance and I promise you, you won’t get another. No matter which of us is the father, I will raise that child as my own and I will give them the life they deserve.”

Erwin remained silent, contemplative. Levi continued.

“And I promise you, I will become stronger. Strong enough to protect them, strong enough to _survive_ so that one day I can show them the world outside this cage we call a home,” he hissed.

Levi stood there, panting slightly, glaring at Erwin as he sat back in his seat, his head resting on interlaced fingers. He sighed, the sound of a man defeated. When he spoke his voice shook and cracked, his mask shattering under the other’s words to reveal a man suddenly much older, weariness etched on his brow.

“I believe congratulations are in order then.” He opened the top draw of his desk and pulled out a pile of brown cloth, tossing it to Levi. Levi was surprised to see the embroidered blue and white wings of freedom.

“Welcome to the Survey Corps.”

* * * * *

You were lying curled up in bed as you waited for him to return, tears running down your cheeks in what had been an endless stream for days. Your hormones had not been helping in the least either. On minute you were angry, telling yourself you never wanted to see him again, the next you were begging him to come back and wrap you in his arms and never let you go.

You got your wish as you felt a pair of warm, muscular arms encircle you, his lips brushing your face and your hair. You hugged him back tightly in your relief, the tears coming harder than before. He hummed gently, stroking your hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said simply, and you hugged him tighter, burying your face in his chest. “I needed time to think, to sort out my emotions.”

“And?” you asked tearfully.

“And I’m ready to be whatever you need me to be. A father, a lover… A husband, if that’s what you want.”

He picked up a bundle of clothes from the bed beside him and offered them to you. Your eyes widened as you saw the insignia.

“And a soldier.”

“You accepted the offer…”

Levi nodded, averting his gaze. “It’ll be difficult, and… I won’t be around as much as you may like… But our child will have a future.”

“Our child…” you smiled at the thought. “But… What about Erwin?”

“He gave up the chance to have a family with you. I don’t care if the kid’s his, I’m not giving you up for anything. I love you, [Name].”

“I love you too, Levi”


	17. Chapter 17

**6 Months Later…**

“You didn’t have to come see me off. You should be at home in bed.”

The two of you were standing at Zhiganshina gate, awaiting the order to depart. You clung to each other protectively, apart from the crowd to avoid any prying eyes. You dreaded the moment when you would be forced to part yet again, and begin the cycle of worrying and fretting all over. 

You glared at him. “Levi, I’m pregnant, not sick. The exercise will do me good.” You looked down at your swollen belly, hand brushing it unconsciously, a dazed look in your eyes. You sighed. “One more month…”

A pained look crossed Levi’s face. “I wish I could be there for the birth.”

You gave a short laugh. “Be glad you won’t be there! I hear it’s rather gruesome.”

The corner of his mouth twitched and he pulled you against him, wrapping his arms about you gingerly, as if you might break if he held too tight. “Don’t say that. You know I would never leave your side if I had the choice.”

“I know…” you hummed. “And you know you can hug me properly. I’m not made of glass!”

He chuckled, a pulled you in tighter. “I know…”

You pulled back and looked him in the eye. “Now stop worrying. It’s bad for the baby.” You smirked and he raised an eyebrow at you.

“I could say the same for you,” he said, pulling you against him once more, this time to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, one you wished would never end. But alas, it did, the sound of bells tolling the hour interrupting your private moment. You broke apart reluctantly, the taste of him lingering on your lips.

He grimaced. “Time to go.” He took your hands in his. “When I return I’ll take some time away from the military and we can be a family. And finally have that wedding you keep nagging me about.”

You hit him lightly on the arm, pretending to be hurt. “I don’t care about that. Just make it home alive, okay?”

He squeezed your hands gently and kissed your forehead. “I promise.”

With one last lingering touch and a regretful gaze, he left to mount his horse, his face now solemn and determined. You caught the eye of Erwin near the head of the formation. _Please, bring him back to me alive_ , your expression said, your eyes pleading. He glanced away, his expression grim, but you saw him give the tiniest nod before the call was given to open the gates, and then they were gone in a flurry of hooves and evergreen cloaks.

The gates were lowered once more and you let out your pent up breath, silently praying to Maria, Rose and Sina that they would both return home safe. You turned away and began the short trek back home to wait out the days.

It was still early morning, and you had awoken long before dawn thanks to your unborn child’s restless kicking. Unable to find sleep again, you had simply watched Levi doze until he had awoken to scold you for not getting enough sleep. _Why don’t we switch places then and see how you sleep when you need to pee every five minutes!_ you had retorted.

You chuckled quietly at the memory and soon you were yawning as you settled yourself into the large armchair by the empty hearth. You stared into the grate while trailing your hand across your stomach absent-mindedly. _On more month…_

As you drifted off, a dream played in your head. You held the hand of a small child whose appearance seemed to shimmer and change with each flutter of the wind. Sometimes it was a small girl with hair black as ebony, others it was a blonde boy with eyes of brilliant blue. And sometimes you recognised the [h/c] hair and [e/c] eyes as your own.

You led the child through grey streets, monochrome houses in perfect lines on either side until you reached the wall. The gate was raised as high as it could go and outside there was only vibrant green and blue meeting in the hard line of the horizon.

The child ran forward toward the light and the warmth. You tried to keep up but soon fell behind and you lost sight of the small figure as it disappeared into the distance. You stood at the gate, searching frantically, but unable to step across the threshold. Then the gate slammed shut with the sound of thunder and you woke with a start to find the orange light of dusk creeping through your window.

_How did I manage to sleep so long?_

You struggled to your feet only to fall back into the chair as the ground lurched beneath you, the crack of a lightning bolt sounding from the south. _A storm? On a day like this?_ A short glance out the window left you confused. The sky was clear except for a handful of fluffy white clouds, and a pillar of pale smoke that rose from beyond the wall.

_What is happening?_

Your question was soon answered as a set of colossal, steaming fingers appeared over the top of the wall, redder than the evening sky, and attached to a creature you had seen only in your nightmares. 

Your eyes widened in horror as the walls that had held for a hundred years suddenly came crumbling down…


	18. Chapter 18

As the company rode through a forest of verdant green, Levi felt himself grow more anxious by the second. There had not been a Titan sighting for hours, an unusual occurrence on an expedition. He glanced ahead, watching Erwin from his distance of two horse lengths as he had been ordered. _Six months and I’m still expected to follow him around like a child who’s misbehaved_ , he thought bitterly.

His thoughts were cut off as a black smoke round was fired high into the air from ahead – the signal for an aberrant sighting. Levi clenched his teeth. _Hours and not so much as footstep has been heard. Now an aberrant appears out of nowhere? What is happening here?_

There were shouts from close by as a group attempted to engage the aberrant, only to let out cries of dismay as it ignored them, continuing its determined sprint north. The soldiers stared at it in confusion as it passed them by without even turning its head.

“It’s ignoring us,” one cried in bewilderment. “Why would it do that?”

“Levi!” shouted Erwin, without so much as a glance behind him. Levi nodded to himself and, drawing his swords with the satisfying sound of steel against steel, launched himself into the air, using the towering trunks around him to anchor his wires.

He zeroed in on the titan’s nape, focusing his nerves, calculating the exact moment and angle he would need to strike. _You've done this a hundred times now. Relax._ He calmed his breathing, and with sudden, lightning speed he launched himself forward, spinning like a deadly top – only to have his swords slice through thin air.

He cursed. What he had not planned for was the aberrant putting on a sudden burst of speed, placing it just outside of his reach and sending him hurtling forward into empty space. He let off a wire and caught himself, landing against the rough trunk of a tree with just a little too much force.

“Damn it!” he growled watching the shrinking back of the titan as it kept up its headlong race. 

Erwin had halted the formation, staring after the aberrant with a look of concern on his face. “Something is not right about this,” he muttered uneasily. His blue eyes widened as he came to a conclusion. “Could it be…?” He stared ahead with new found fear in his eyes, an emotion Levi had never seen him display lightly.

“Erwin, what is it?” he asked uncertainly.

“Get back to your horse. We need to return to the walls as soon as possible.”

Levi narrowed his eyes at the tone in his voice, but did not argue as he sheathed his swords and dropped lightly to the ground to remount. He glanced at Erwin, who was still staring off in the direction the titan had gone.

“The days of peace we once knew are over.” The blonde man swallowed visibly. “Ride as fast as you can. Don’t look back.” And with that he dug in his heels and set off at a thundering pace.

Levi had gone pale, frozen in place. _Does he mean…? No… It can’t be…_

“[Name]!” he breathed, hurtling forward until he was close on Erwin’s heels, the two men exchanging a look that said any hostility that may have existed between them was far behind them now. All that mattered was [Name].

The rest of the formation followed behind, their confused faces slowly turning to expressions of horror as realisation hit them one by one. Levi knew many of them had family in Shiganshina.

 _Please be safe_ , he silently pleaded as the company rode like wind across the green landscape, all attempts at keeping formation cast aside. _Please be alive_. Nothing mattered now. Nothing except getting back to the walls – getting _home_. No one spoke, no one needed to. They were all thinking the same thing. The only sounds were the dull pounding of hooves against dirt and hearts against ribs, and the desperate, muttered pleas for everything to be alright.

It felt like it had been forever, and also mere seconds when they finally reached the wall. Mouths fell open in horror, in despair as they beheld the shattered gate, the titans swarming around it, clamoring to be the first to enter the ravaged city with its columns of black and putrid smoke.

“We can’t get in through the gate. Abandon the horses, switch to the air and climb the walls!” cried Erwin.

 _How can he be so calm in such a situation?_ Levi wondered, watching the blonde man as he dismounted. The taller man hesitated, just for a mere moment, but it was enough to make Levi realise that beneath his calm exterior was the turmoil reflected on everyone’s faces. He would never admit it, but Levi suddenly felt a great deal of respect for the man before him. _If you can help me get [Name] out of this alive, I promise you I will follow you anywhere._

Unable to wait any longer, Levi anchored his wires high in the wall, feeling the familiar tug as he launched himself into the air once again, burning fuel at an alarming rate. _Hold on, [Name]. Please just hold on._

He heard the zip of wires behind him and glanced back to find Erwin following, his face set in determination, but his eyes and the deep lines etched on his brow betrayed his concern.

Without even stopping to survey the damages, as soon as he reached the top, Levi cast himself from the wall, the fifty meter job not fazing him in the least, his wires shooting out to find purchase on what little buildings were still standing. Erwin, however, stopped to look out upon the ruined town – a mistake.

“Too late… We were far too late…” His gaze wandered to where his former residence stood – your house. His eyes widened.

“Levi!” he shouted, but Levi had already seen it, hurtling through the air at an alarming speed, the turbines in his gear whirring, almost straining to keep up. Erwin cursed, following after, felling a titan on the way as it attempted to catch him by surprise from an adjacent rooftop.

When he caught up with the smaller man, he found him desperately rummaging through the wreckage of the house, cursing, sparing no thought for the cuts and scrapes he was sustaining. Erwin slowed to a stop, a pained expression across his face.

“Levi…”

Levi ignored him, calling her name, his cries becoming more persistent, desperate as he choked back tears that he refused to let fall.

“Levi!”

The ebony-haired man turned on Erwin, steel blue gaze burning with a anger. He was unraveling and Erwin knew it. “Don’t just stand there! Help me!” he growled, his fists clenched.

Erwin’s gaze turned hard, his expression immovable. “It’s too late, Levi.”

“Don’t you say that.”

“Either she’s dead, or she managed to escape with the boats. Either way, there’s no point staying here. We’re little more than titan bait if we stay on the ground.”

“How can you say that?” Levi was looking at Erwin in horror, bewilderment plain on his face. “Do you feel nothing for her anymore?”

Erwin met his steely gaze with his own unwavering blue. “Feelings will do nothing but hinder us,” he said, his voice emotionless, empty. “We need to leave.”

Levi growled. “No. Not until I’m sure…”

He continued his desperate search, growing increasingly frustrated, his hands shaking so badly his movements soon became ineffective. He slumped to the ground in defeat, his hair falling across his face. Erwin placed a hand on his shoulder.

“We need to-”

He was cut off as a sound, so quiet he had almost missed it, emanated from a short distance away. Levi lifted his head, suddenly filled with renewed vigor and hope.

“[Name],” he breathed.

“Levi…” came a voice, weak and distant, but very much real. 

Very much _alive._


	19. Chapter 19

Darkness…

You couldn’t think, couldn’t move. The air was suffocating, pressing down on you like a great weight. No… That weight was real. Solid. You felt its crushing mass upon you. A dull ache, spreading from your centre out to the tips of your fingers and toes in shocks and waves sent your head spinning, threatening to lose consciousness once again.

Overhead you could hear the sounds of thundering footfalls, the ground shuddering beneath you with each mighty step. Your mind was hazy, but you remembered one thing clear as day – the wall had fallen, the Titans had entered the city. One hundred years of peace had finally come to an end and here you were at the mercy of monsters.

You tried to move, but the pressing weight only became heavier, shifting dangerously above you. You froze. One twitch of a muscle, one breath drawn too deep could mean the end of you.

_But isn’t that better than the alternative?_

Straining your ears for the sound of approaching footsteps, you attempted to still your rapidly beating heart. From the sounds of it, the Titans had already advanced far into the city – you could hear their muffled footfalls growing fainter in the distance. You realised there would be no one left to hear your cries for help, they had all either fled and were long gone, or were nothing but a smattering of blood on the broken cobblestone.

And so with unconsciousness flitting at the corners of your mind you lay alone and waited for the end – be it in the maw of a monster, or in the remains of the home that would become your tomb.

Eyes closed against the pain that was slowly spreading through your abdomen, you thought of the child from your dream and you could not stop the tears or the muffled sob that escaped your throat. _I never got to meet you. But perhaps we will meet in heaven…_

_“[Name]!”_

Your heart leaped in your chest as your heard that voice. _He found me_. You tried calling to him, but your throat was dry, and all that came out was a hoarse cry, muted by the layers of rubble pressing down on you. You tried again and again, but all you managed to do was produce a hacking cough, one that shook your body, causing the rubble to groan and shift.

 _No!_ You tried one more time.

“Levi!” It was weak, but it was enough, and soon you felt the weight lift from your back and shoulders, slivers of orange light filtering through the dust and splinters as he was revealed to you inch by inch. He looked like an angel silhouetted against the dusk sky, his cloak fluttering behind him like great wings. _Wings of freedom_. The relief on his face was evident as he freed your legs from beneath a broken beam.

“I thought the worst,” he said, almost choking on the tears that now streamed down his cheeks. He reached out to pull you against him but stopped, a look of horror dawning on his face.

“Oh God, no…” he whispered as he watched the pool of blood slowly spread beneath your body. You looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

“Levi… The baby,” was all you managed to say before the darkness claimed you once more.

* * * * *

Panicking, Levi bundled [Name] up in his arms and took flight, Erwin close at his heels. Silently, he prayed for the first time in his life, prayed that both [Name] and the child would be alright, that there was still a boat that could carry them to safety and that the remaining fuel in his tanks would be enough to reach it. He gritted his teeth, putting on a burst of speed to narrowly avoid the rapidly closing jaws of a titan around his ankle. 

Erwin felled it without so much as a second glance, focused intently on the limp weight in Levi’s arms. His expression was grim, stoic, but inside was turmoil as he watched her grow paler and paler and the sleeves of Levi’s jacket become slowly soaked with her blood.

“There!” Levi cried as he spotted the last ship about to leave for the inner walls, loaded almost to bursting point.

“Hey, you can’t do that! There’s a line!” shouted an official as the two soldiers landed heavily on the crowded deck. Levi merely shot him a glare, rendering him speechless, before looking around him with desperation.

“Is there a doctor on this ship?!”

Silence. Then a man stepped forward.

“I’m a doctor.”

“Please,” Levi begged. “Please help her.”

The man nodded, his face grim. “I’ll do my best. Bring her through here.”

“I’m a midwife,” a woman piped up. “Let me help.”

The two led the soldiers into the ship’s cabin. As Levi entered, he caught the gaze of a small blond boy with wide blue eyes. His two companions, a brunet and a girl with black hair and exotic features seemed not to take any notice of the commotion on board, their eyes staring blankly into empty space. _They've lost someone too…_

Levi shook himself. _Too? I haven’t lost anyone yet! Hang in there, [Name]._

The cabin consisted of a number of small rooms, one containing a narrow bed, where Levi gently placed [Name]. 

“I know it’s difficult, but we’re going to need you to wait in the other room,” said the doctor, looking at Levi pointedly. Levi shook his head.

“No, I’m staying with her.”

“Sir, you need to trust us. Please wait outside.”

Levi opened his mouth to protest once more, but Erwin cut him off with a soft word.

“Levi… You've done all you can. Let them save her now.”

Levi clenched his jaw, but did as he was told, letting the door shut tightly in his face.

* * * * *

Waiting was torture. Levi could hear the screams and cries of pain from behind the closed door. He longed to go to her, to hold her hand, but he restrained himself, trying to convince his mind that she was in good hands.

Erwin stood by the window, watching the landscape move slowly by. He glanced over at the shorter man sitting restlessly across the room, silently looking down at his quaking, blood encrusted hands and forearms. He watched him slowly unravel, coming apart at the seams as he beheld the blood of his lover.

“So much blood…” Levi croaked, his eyes wide and rimmed with red. He struggled with his cloak and jacket, letting them drop to the floor as if they were alive. He hissed in distaste as he realised the dark liquid has soaked through the white sleeves of his shirt as well. He rolled them up to his elbows and staggered to the sink in the corner, scrubbing fiercely at his hands and arms. Once they were clean he stared at them.

“I can still feel it… I can feel it everywhere…”

He began scrubbing again, gritting his teeth against the pain until his hands were rubbed raw. And still he continued until Erwin caught him by the wrist.

“Enough.”

Levi hissed but relaxed slightly, casting his eyes downward and away from Erwin’s scrutinising blue gaze.

“I feel so helpless, Erwin. Knowing there’s nothing I can do. I always saved her, every time. But not this time…”

Erwin released his arm. “I know,” he said sadly.

Levi turned on him suddenly. “How could you know?” he growled. “Back then, you were willing to leave her for dead!”

Erwin said nothing, his face hidden in shadow.

“This is your fault. This is all your fault,” Levi continued, his voice rising. “If I had not joined your fucking Survey Corps I could have been there for her! I could have protected her!”

Erwin’s eyes flashed. “If you had not joined, you would be spending the remainder of your sorry life in prison. How would you protect her then?”

Levi roared, drawing his blades and launching himself at Erwin, slamming him roughly against the wall, blades crossed over his throat. Erwin only stared at him calmly. It drove Levi insane.

“How do you do that?! How can you be so calm when the most important person in the world is in that room _dying_?!”

“[Name] is none of my concern anymore. Those who cannot sacrifice everything can never hope to change anything, and as long as she had my heart, I could not offer it wholly and completely to our cause.”

Levi stood, astonished. “You’re a monster,” he growled.

“We both know what we do with monsters. Are you going to kill me, Levi?”

“I’ve wanted to kill you since the day I met you,” Levi growled, tightening his grip on the blades. His movement cause a thing trail of blood to trickle down the Commander’s neck, pooling at the stark white collar of his shirt. 

“Then do it. Kill me. It’s far better than I deserve.” Erwin’s eyes flickered past Levi’s shoulder, widening slightly, a solemn expression crossing his face. Levi did not notice, focused instead on his blades. 

“But do you really want blood on your hands when you hold your baby girl for the first time?”

Time seemed to stand still as Levi’s swords clattered uselessly to the ground. He whirled around to find the midwife clutching a pink bundle protectively against her chest, eyeing Levi with a mixture of confusion and fear. Those feathery, ebony locks and wide, grey-blue eyes were unmistakably his. 

He stumbled forward, transfixed by the sight before him. He reached out his arms tentatively to take the bundle from the midwife. She seemed reluctant at first, but obliged, watching his actions closely.

As Levi held the tiny bundle to his chest, carefully as if she might break, he stared in wonder at the tiny, crumpled face. She did not cry, only watched him with innocent curiosity that left him breathless. He could see the smallest hint of [Name] in her features, enough to send warning bells ringing in his mind. [Name]!

He turned to the midwife, suddenly anxious. “And what of [Name]? is she alright?”

The midwife shook her head. “We did all we could. I’m so sorry…”

Hurriedly but carefully, Levi passed the child off to Erwin, who seemed surprised at having the tiny human thrust into his arms. He could not bring himself to look into the face because he knew it would remind him of everything he had given up, everything he had left behind.

Levi rushed into the second room to find [Name] barely conscious, her face paler than the blood-stained sheets beneath her. She lifted one pale, trembling hand and he clasped it tightly, sinking down beside her.

“[Name]…”

“Levi…”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me to be.” Tears were threatening to fall again, but he held them back. He wouldn’t let her see his helplessness.

“I forgive you, Levi. You saved her, and she is far more important.” She smiled weakly. “Keep her safe for me.” [Name] cast her gaze to the doorway where Erwin was standing, the child in his arms and a pained expression on his face. “Both of you.”

“I promise,” Levi whispered, his lips brushing her fingers which were slowly slipping from his grip. A thought came to his mind. “Does she have a name?”

[Name] smiled. “Hope.”

And with that her eyes glazed over, her hand dropping limply to her side and a contented sigh falling from her bloodless lips.

_Goodbye, [Name]…_


	20. Chapter 20

The flames from the funeral pyres flickered high into the air and a dull roar filled Levi’s ears – the sound of wood and oxygen and flesh being hungrily consumed by angry red heat. As ash drifted from the heavens to dirty his hair and clothes, he wondered how much of it was hers. Not that there was any way to tell. After death, everyone’s ashes were indistinguishable from one another’s, and even someone as remarkable as [Name] was no more than an indeterminable cloud of dust in the wind.

Levi had never been one for ceremony himself. He would have been perfectly happy to stay inside, watching the peaceful, innocent face of his daughter as she slept in his arms, her tiny fingers curled tightly in his shirt. But Erwin had insisted, and so Levi had reluctantly handed Hope over to the midwife, kissing the tiny bundle lightly on the forehead and promising he would return.

He clenched his jaw and shot a pained glare at Erwin, who stood transfixed by the flames, an expression of grim contemplation etched into his features. The blond man did not notice Levi’s eyes on him; he was lost in his own world, dealing with his grief in the only way he knew how. Levi envied the way he could remain so calm, and yet he hated it, hated the way he refused to shed even a single tear at the funeral of his first and only love. He also hated himself, for he could not hold back his own tears. He had promised he would not cry again, refusing to let Hope see her father’s weakness. He needed to be strong for her – needed her to know he would _always_ be strong for her – but in the presence of his lover’s ashes, he was completely and utterly helpless.

The heavy scent of death and despair hung in the air like a disease, and he had to fight to not wrinkle his nose at the stench of it as he watched the mourning families and disheartened soldiers who had come to say goodbye. Some of them did not even have bodies to burn; only seeking closure and the strange, sick comfort one gained from knowing others were hurting too.

It disgusted him, the way they cursed the Gods for their unfairness and yet still prayed and pleaded that their loved ones find peace. It disgusted him that they displayed their grief so openly, in the presence of complete strangers, that they would abandon all dignity just to watch as those they loved became ashes and dust as if it would somehow ease their suffering. Unable to bear any more, Levi turned on his heel and stormed off, hands curled into tight fists by his sides. He would not watch her burn away to nothing when she had always been his everything.

By the time he reached his temporary residence, he had calmed considerably, though the familiar smell of burning still clung to his skin and clothes like a parasite and made him cringe with each breath. He opened the door to find the midwife asleep in the armchair by the fire, which had burned down to coals. Though he loathed the idea of seeking warmth from the flames after tonight, he could not ignore the frigid air. His stoking of the fire startled the sleeping woman awake, but she relaxed as she saw it was only Levi.

“I’m sorry I woke you, Ada,” he said softly. “I assume Hope is sleeping?”

“Yes, I haven’t heard a peep from her. Such a good girl. She’ll need feeding soon, though I’m always reluctant to wake her…”

“It’s alright, I’ll take over from here. Go home and get some sleep.”

Ada nodded, thanking him tiredly, before bustling from the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. Levi was left with only his grief and the sound of crackling flames, a sound which no longer held any comfort for him. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, steeling himself.

_I need to get through this. For her sake._

He crept quietly through to the bedroom, stopping in the doorway to gaze on the sleeping face of his daughter. Her tiny chest rose and fell with each steady breath and he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with relief and love. A small smile played at his lips – his first in days. She was perfect in every way, so perfect that he could not believe he had had a hand in creating her. He chuckled softly.

 _I guess that was mostly you, [Name]._

A gentle knock at the door pulled him from his musings, and he scowled as the visitor entered without so much as waiting for an invitation. Erwin entered wearing his usual grim expression and gestured to Levi.

“We should talk.”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the door frame, watching the man from the opposite side of the room. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu at the scene before him.

“What is there to talk about?” he hissed angrily, wary not to wake the baby. 

“Everything,” Erwin sighed. “And nothing.”

“Stop being cryptic.”

“Levi, what do you think the future holds for you? For your daughter?”

Levi shrugged. “I hadn't given it much thought. All I know is I have a duty. I made a promise to [Name] and I will hold it until my last breath.” He looked back over his shoulder at the small, sleeping form. “I have to protect her at all costs.”

“Then you’ll agree with me when I say she can’t stay here.”

Levi said nothing, not meeting Erwin’s gaze.

“Something is stirring, Levi, I can feel it. The fall of Wall Maria wasn’t some chance encounter. It was staged, meticulously planned to play out perfectly the way it did. There is something intelligent behind this and the way the military is now, we can’t stop it if it happens again.”

“Your point?”

“The Survey Corps needs you, but we need all of you – every tear, every drop of sweat, every beat of your heart. We need you to give yourself over to the cause and never look back.”

Levi looked at him with distaste. “In other words, you want me to sacrifice everything for your suicidal plan.”

“Those who cannot sacrifice everything-”

“Cannot hope to change anything, I know. But you expect me to give up _my own daughter_? To forget her and everything I have to live for? That would be akin to ripping out my own heart.” There was desperation in his voice, and a deep, haunting despair. “You are asking me to leave behind the only reminder I have left of [Name] as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. How can you even call yourself human anymore?”

“Sometimes we must give up our own humanity so that others can keep their own. You made a promise to [Name] a long time ago, do you remember? You said you would fight to win her freedom. Do you intend to break that promise?”

Levi said nothing, his pained gaze directed at the floor. Erwin continued.

“Do you want Hope to die without ever seeing the outside world like [Name] did?”

Something in Levi seemed to break. “No…” he whispered.

“Then will you fight so that one day she can know what it means to be free?”

“I will…”

“Then you need to let her go. Let her live a peaceful life, oblivious and safe in the inner walls until the time comes when you can fulfill that promise. Disconnect – that’s the only way we can survive. But never lose sight of the reason you’re fighting.”

With a heavy heart Levi nodded. “I… I understand… Unless I give myself wholly to the fight, Hope has no future…”

He surprised Erwin by offering him his best salute, back straight and steel-blue eyes staring straight ahead, his expression cold but determined.

“Then I pledge myself to you, Commander Erwin Smith, and offer my heart and soul to the Survey Corps and to humanity.”

Erwin’s gaze softened.

“She would be proud of you right now...”

Levi grimaced. “I can only hope…”

**15 Years Later…**

Levi stood at the gate, unable to take a single step towards the house that loomed above him with its perfect lawn and cobblestone path lined with pink and white carnations. He had waited years for this moment, played it out in his head a thousand times. But now the time had come, all those scenarios seemed to be swept away like a neat stack of papers in the wind.

“Are you going to go in, or are you just going to stare at it all day?” said a voice by his ear. He turned around and glared at Erwin who stood by his side.

Levi was surprised at how tired the man looked – the years had certainly not served him well, grey creeping into his blond hair, worry lines etched on his brow. The sleeve of his right arm now hung empty, flapping gently in the cool breeze. He wondered if he himself looked like that. It had all been worth it, of course. Fifteen years ago, a world without titans had been a mere dream. Now it was reality. He knew he should have felt a sense of peace, happiness, anything aside from what he was feeling now. But nothing could overcome the weariness that had seeped into his bones and made him want to go to sleep and never wake up. He hoped today would change that.

Gathering his nerves, he pushed the gate open, letting it swing inward with a quiet squeak of its hinges. He approached the door, panicking slightly as his mind refused to be anything but blank. He raised his hand, hesitating.

Erwin had followed him up the path, an amused expression on his face. “Would you like me to do it for you?” he asked gently.

Levi shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He rapped on the wood with his knuckles – once, twice – and waited. After a few moments came the sound of footsteps, and the door swung open to reveal a young woman. Levi could recognise that raven hair anywhere.

“Hope…” he breathed, taking pleasure in the way her blue eyes widened, the expression on her face so much like the face he used to know all those years ago.

“Dad?” she whispered, seeing herself in his features.

And without warning they launched themselves into each other’s arms, clinging tightly as if they would drift off into the atmosphere if either let go. She sobbed into his shoulder, grinning all the while.

“I knew you’d come back for me,” she said.

Levi hugged her tighter. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, kissing her hair. “I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she cried. “You came back.”

Levi couldn’t hold it in any more, and suddenly the emotion he had kept hidden for fifteen years broke through the dam he had built and his mask fell away to shatter into a thousand pieces. For the first time in fifteen years, he let his tears show because he knew it no longer mattered if he was weak. 

Humanity no longer needed its strongest soldier.

He was free. 

He was _human_.

And the feeling that rose in his chest, that of intense love and joy and sorrow and regret was so pleasurably painful that it was almost…

_Criminal._


End file.
